By Your Side
by Alanna-twins
Summary: Hijikata finds Okita on a bench in the middle of the night. some talking. HijiOki. by: Tezzino of Alanna-twins


"Why are you crying, Sougou?"

Okita Sougou looked up, wiping his eyes. Hijikata Toushiro stood in front of him.  
"No, I..." he started shaily. "I was in the kitchen, and... got to near the one chopping the onions"  
"You're lying Sougou, you never go to the kithen. One of the cooks is crazy about peanuts, making everybody eat it. You're allergic to peanuts." Hijikata looked him sraight in the eyes, until Okita turned his eyes to the ground, refusing to say anithing.

"Haah..." Hijikatasighed as he sat down on the bench next to his rival/friend, looking up at the twinkeling stars.

They just sat there, blackhaired man looking at the stars, lightbrownhaired boy staring at the ground.  
"I was... just thinking..." Okita suddenly started, not moving an inch.

Hijikata remained silent, waiting for Okita to continue. It wasn't often anyone saw the young boy like this. More like never.

They sat there quiet, at least for ten minutes, before Hijikata decided to speak.  
"It's rare to see you at all, this day of the year. You're always impossible to find"  
An uncomfortable silence fell, when Hijikata stubbornly decided to wait until Okita spoke.

"It's my birthday..." Okita murmured into his legs, that he had pulled up to his chest, hiding his face.  
"It is? Then why haven't you told us?" Hijikata raised an eyebrow.  
"I kinda... have bad experiences from my birthdays... It's been a while now, I thought I could handle it now..." He tried to choke a sniffle. "Guess I was wrong"  
"Bad experience, huh? What kind of them"  
"My... father was abusive. I've never had a mother..." He laughed sadly. "It was kinda hard... But meeting all of you, coming to Edo, it really was a good thing...for... me"  
Hijikata could clearly hear the boy was crying.  
The blackhaired man smiled weakly towards the younger one.  
"Happy Birthday, Sougou"  
Okita wiped his redcried eyes and looked up. But more tears came welling up, like they never would stop.  
Hijikata felt his heart hurt when he saw the boy cry.  
He wrapped his arms comfortingly around the younger.  
Okita took hold of Hijikatas shirt, his thin frame shaking more than slightly, less than violent.  
The brownhaired boy pressed his face into the white shirt-fabric. "Oy Sougou, don't cry..." Hijikata laid a hand on Okitas head. "I don't recognize you when you behave like that"  
Muffled words came between the sobs, inaudible.  
"What?" Hijikata asked, pushing Okita away a bit, holding him and looking into his eyes.  
Okita, that was still crying, whispered shakily; "Sorry"  
Chock crept across Hijikata's face for a second, then a smile crept on his face.  
"What are you apologizing for, dummy?" Okita lowered his eyes.  
"But...I'm...You're"  
"I'm what"  
Okita didn't answer, but wrapped his arms around Hijikata's middle.  
Hijikata ruffled Okita's hair, making it stand on end. "There, theres"  
The boy had started crying harder, his body shaking violently. "Ah- Sougou, calm down." Hijikata patted his back cack-handed.  
"When you act like this, I have no idea how to react. So please- don't cry." But even though Okita was deadly tired, and had gotten a headache, he couldn't stop crying, neither could he let himself fall asleep in front of Hijikata.  
He knew he would be haunted by nightmares the whole night, and he didn't want anyone -especally Hijikata- to see him like that, crying in his sleep, reliving the pain and fears he had gone through.  
Yes, he was still a child, one of the youngest members in Shinsengumi, but he didn't want to be called weak, or cowardly.

Mabye the bodily scars had long-since healed, and now hardly visible, but the scars to his soul would never, completely heal. 'But,' he thought, 'Hijikata-san's so warm... the bodyheat makes me so...srowsy...' And with that thought, he fell asleep, wispering over and over, lower and lower for each time, the words; "Must not fall asleep, must not... fall asleep, must not... fall...a..slee..."

When Okitas body relaxed, he snuggled into Hijikata's warm, comforting chest, making the older blush as he lifted up the boy.  
"He, how troublesome...his room's so far away, and I'm really tired..." He looked down at the boy, that was crying, with a pained expression on his feathures, looking like he had a nightmare or something.  
"He better not try to kill me tomorrow morning, he'll sleep in my room toninght..."

And with that said, Hijikata walked slowly, gently carrying Okita, the stars twinkeling in the sky all the while.

OWARI 


End file.
